So this post is kind of long, I’d recommend grabbing snacks and drinks before continuing. Edit: it’s not really that long, but you should get snacks anyway.
I started this blog as mostly a joke. I was at home visiting a friend who was on break, and she and I spent a few days figuring out how to set up a blog. We brainstormed ideas of what I could blog about; the top 3 being yoga (because all blogs include yoga), food (ilovelentils.com?), or life (which basically translated to post-concussive life). I chose life because yoga isn’t really my thing and at the time I started this blog cooking was too exhausting.
Although I would definitely say I don’t take myself too seriously with this blog, I have tried to write honestly about my experience living with post-concussion syndrome for the past 11 months. And with that honesty I’ve had many fears that my writing would be perceived as whiny, exaggerated, or overly dramatic. I have struggled with that fear every time I post or talk to people about how I’m doing. However, I didn’t start writing this blog to get sympathy from people, because I don’t want your sympathy. I didn’t write this blog because I wanted attention, because I would much rather be people watching than people reading about me. (I did; however, write this blog to become famous…it didn’t happen).
Truth be told, in the beginning this blog gave me something to talk and laugh about with my friends. I felt so useless just trying to survive, and laughing with my friends about “blogging” and “instagramming” was something that made me feel a little more like me. I continued writing because some of the most helpful things for me during my recovery have been reading articles from other people who have gone through similar experiences. Their stories helped me feel understood, because the symptoms “dizziness, headache, depression, and anxiety” cannot even begin to describe how you feel. So I’ve tried to pay it forward a bit, and I’ve been able to reach people whom I wouldn’t have without this blog.
So…I’m really happy I have been able to blog and I have a lot more regular readers than I could have ever imagined. But I’ve decided to stop blogging. I had always envisioned my last post to be a victory post, saying that I was on the other side, and that I could finally use the word “recovered”. And unfortunately that’s not where I’m at right now, so in a sense, I feel as though I am prematurely ending my blog. But I still firmly believe that I get to write the story of my life, I just won’t be sharing it on the internet.
Lately I’ve been feeling a lot of different emotions surrounding trying to go back to school, managing my health, and trying to have some sort of social life. Life was easier before last year. But it wasn’t necessarily better. If this year has taught me anything, it’s that God gave me the best family, friends, and roommates I could ever ask for. I look forward to the future, headache days and all, because the world is a pretty beautiful place, if you just slow down for a minute to truly appreciate it.
Also side note, my sugar free diet lasted for about a week. I realized that life was way better when M&Ms are involved. My diet is pretty healthy anyway, so I don’t think my brain hates me because of my food choices.
Besides eating lots of donuts, candy, and processed foods, I’ve also been getting out and doing things I love. See picture evidence below:
So thanks everyone for reading, listening, crying, and laughing with me. As they say, it’s been “really real”.